Silly Parts

Every country has its share of illogical practices that have nothing to do with culture. By this I mean every country has “silly parts” that are not rooted in cultural tradition and have no apparent purpose and absolutely defy common sense. In some parts of America it has been (and may still be) illegal to perform oral sex. Imagine that for a COPS episode (“FREEZE! YOU’RE BUSTED! Drop the phallus and put your hands above your head ma’am!”). In Japan, I’m sure there are a few of the sexual nature (Oh! Just remembered one: it is illegal to show pubic hair in video or pictures. The pubic tools are ok, but not the hair. Go figure), but the one I’m griping about today is of the financial matter.
I was in Nagano, buying my ticket to come home, and I couldn’t insert my card into the ATM machine. I thought it was jammed, but then I looked to see that the card slot had a little bitty door blocking the card orifice. It was, in all manners of speaking, closed. I asked the clerk if it was broken and he just told me, no, it was closed. I asked my friend Daichi the drunkard, who was now laughing at me, why it was closed. That is when I was informed, quite matter of factly that they are always closed at this time of night. This was quite baffling, and Daichi found it strange as well after I translated the acronym ATM. In Japan they use the word ATM, but they don’t know that it means Automatic Teller Machine. So this brings the question concerning the ILL-logic found in this aspect of the financial practice of this country:

Why do the ATMs need to close?

Did the ATMs form a union and demand better working hours?
Did they demand time to sleep?
Are they solar powered?
Do Japanese ATMs really have little Japanese people inside that need to go home to their families?
What part for AUTOMATIC got lost in the translation of A and T and M?

I guess my Japanese friends and I may never know....

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

PS-Internet access friday. I should get a phone to plug in to the wall so I can use my landline soon as well.