Stupid ENGRISH signs

As some of you may know, Japan has a problem (a fetish really) with bad Engrish. The problem that they WANT to use it, but evidently there aren't enough foreigners around to help them write it properly because mistakes are EVERYWHERE.
For example, one day I was walking down the street near a train station in Shinjuku, and I saw a few cool little signs on the ground. They were bricks that pointed to different cities accross the globe such as Sydney, Paris, Moscow and one city I hadn't heard of before:

Hmmmmm.....Isn't that in Texlass (and isn't a river?)? At least they didn't have Rondon, Engrand.

Then, in a hotel I found this nice explanation on a bathtowel:

In case the picture is hard to read, it says:
"Everytime you make a move and the way you touch, I lose control and shiver deep inside. You take my breath away."
WHOA! CALM down there Mr. Bath Towel, I only like you as a FRIEND!!!

Then on the way home I found something EXTRAORDINARY:

That's light! Stand here for 8.88 seconds and you will magicarry be trasported to home!

Then there was this:

Perhaps this stupid looking alien thing is maybe some kind of outer space cat, but "Morlin and Satoshi" are apparently characters created by a strange artist named Dehara Yukinori.

Just fabulous. Maybe someday my current students will make me proud to be an Engrish teacher, just like these people do.

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg