Meatleg In Nihon

Update

2009-04-17T22:40:00.001+09:00

Updated the main website. Take a look.
www.meatleg.com

New Plugin!

2009-04-09T01:14:00.002+09:00

Why don't I blog anymore? Because using Twitter is soooo damn easy!
So, I added a Twitter plugin to the right so people can keep up with me here.
Does anyone even read this anymore anyway?!?

Mine, Erich

HELL YEAH!!!!!

2008-11-06T00:30:00.001+09:00

TAKE THAT RACIST AMERICANS!!!!!!!
The end of an error is near, and hope is on the horizon!

New Podcast!

2008-07-07T20:50:00.002+09:00

OK, so this isnt my show, its my friend Terrance's (aka T-Bone Tyrone) show.
My friend Terrance and I have been talkign about recording together for a while and we finally got around to doing it.
You can hear me talk about the new life in Tokyo and stuff. its fun. the page for the show is here:
http://kobebeefshow.com/?p=49

after clicking on the page above, click on the link that says:
Only kitsu kitsu Beef show here
and then you can hear the mp3 file of the radio show/podcast.

if you want to subscribe to this show in iTunes then look for the "Beef Feed" link on the left, or just click here:
feed://www.kobebeefshow.com/wp-content/uploads/podcast.xml
and on the right side of this page click "Subscribe in iTunes". This way, anytime a new show is posted, it will automatically download to your computer...

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Toilets in Japan!

2008-06-24T16:28:00.002+09:00

Can't embed this yet so visit this Link to see NEW TOILETS in Japan!!!
Then contrast this with the Toilet Report that I have linked on the left.

Japan is a land of extremes...
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

TOKYO

2008-06-16T00:30:00.002+09:00

Ok, I am in Tokyo now.

Just so you know, I haven't been stabbed by the guy that stabbed fourteen after hitting four with a truck:

and I wasn't killed in the recent earthquakes:

I'm living with a hot chick who is apparently my girlfriend:

Thats all for now.

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Tokyo, Iron Penis Festival and Last lessons

2008-04-16T00:56:00.011+09:00

Yep, I went to the Iron Penis Festival again, and I met one of the Penis gods. Isnt he Cute? I have tons and tons of pictures of this festival from a balcony, but you will just have to wait until I finish moving and have internet re-established. I know I promised everyone an Iron Penis Festival site a year ago, you will just have to wait a little longer....

Had my last lesson today with my student Takuma. Good thing too, now that he is taking up swordplay. That's all he needs to complement his Karate skills (on a side note, never incorporate vocabulary like "punch" and "kick" when teaching language to a young martial artist).

I may not write again until I am settled in Tokyo, and that could be a while.

Here's to a safe trip.

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Toilets in Japan

2008-04-03T10:41:00.004+09:00

No time for a real post, but I HAD to post this picture.

First, in brief:
1) I'm moving to tokyo
2) no other news that I am ready to report yet, but hell, its gonna be a big move so lets leave it at that.

Now, for the ongoing saga of the Toilet Report, a new discovery in the world of Japanese toilets. At my ex-roommate's house, I saw this:

THIS is a control panel that hangs on the wall next to the toilet. I circled and labeled one of the buttons in red. Do you see what it says? Thats right. The bide has a MASSAGE button. I have heard of massage chairs and massage mattresses (wheeee!), but a toilet?
I asked my roommate about it, and he said, you know, I have never tried that before....
I told him he probly shouldn't; he has five roommates and that could get a little, well, disgusting.

Ecch!

Mine!
Erich von Meatleg

Happy New Year!

2008-02-03T22:07:00.001+09:00

Wha-? Huh? It's freaking February?
Time can sure fly when you are busy going into debt, doing nothing.
Anyway, here is my annual 年賀状 (nengajo - New Years Card).
This is the Year of the Rat.

Compare this card to last year's card, and the year before that.
See a trend? That's right, each year the new year's animal kills the old year's animal.
Cause that's the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I like it (uh-huh uh-huh).

I'll try to post more often. I might BACK post, so that I can add things in the December month that I wanted to add.
Ta ta-
Erich von Meatleg

Halloween Hangover...

2007-11-11T23:25:00.000+09:00

No time to write a real post, so here are a couple of pictures from a halloween lesson i taught for my six year old student Takuma. He is awesome. We made jack-O-Lantern masks! No, really, I am wearing a mask, I swear!!!

Ta ta,
Erich von Maatleg

My New Favorite Restaurant!

2007-09-03T18:18:00.000+09:00

Some of you may remember my favorite bar, but I have just found my new favorite restaurant!!!! Walking down the street, looking for a Subway (sandwich shop) I instead found this appetizing place to eat:

That's right, it wasn't Subway, but you can probably get a FOOT LONG here...

Also on the menu, tossed salad, reach around pork, and teabag oley!

Apparently this place is Italian, but I wouldn't EAT THE SAUSAGE!

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

New Site!!!

2007-08-16T02:52:00.000+09:00

yeah yeah yeah,
i know youre thinking, "Erich you never write anymore O Great One! Please edify us with your avalanches of sticky wisdom!!!"

well, ive just been busy...
im making a new site for money for example.
for the 三重県のバレエスクール (or of a ballet school of Mie county)
its REALLY simple, but the pictures look nice.

MINE!!!
Erich von Meatleg

I'm watching you....

2007-06-29T04:46:00.000+09:00

New site!!!

2007-06-27T05:42:00.000+09:00

been working on this for months now....
its finally up
Ocean Boom DOT COM

it now has a new music player at the top courtesy of my friends PETE and NAO as well as a new way to display band pictures....
i love it

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

Day at the Beach

2007-06-19T13:35:00.000+09:00

so the first part of the day, was going to the beach early in the morning with a really, freakin' gorgeous (married) hungarian lady. we met at the TV station at 8am, and went with the TV crew to a beach near the Osaka airport. there we filmed a scene walking on the beach, pretending to here a noise coming from across the sea. my only picture of the two of us together is a little blurry because its from my cell phone...(accidently deleted my picture that i took on my real camera)

then we went back to the station, and she (Kate) went home. i stuck around to meet the black mayonaise guy s(BMG) and decided to go to nara to shoot another scene with them later. i waited around with the BMG to see them do a green screen shoot so they could put computer graphics in the background. the BGM were pretty funny, dancing around.

the story of the commercial is, one of the BMGs is painted green to look like a big buhdda statue, and he is very sad. so he drinks the Oronamin C drink, and gets soooooo happy that he screams with joy. the scream is so loud however, that its frightening and painful to the ears of anyone close to him, and me and my freakin' gorgeous (married) hungarian lover can hear it across the ocean.

i think there will be more than one version, because the third part of the day was spent going to the magical, holy city of nara. nara is full of parks with buhdda statues and it is well known for its VERY tame deer, that you can feed and are particularly beau-

well, they are tame anyway. and where there are tons of deer, there are also tons of

i arrived with the TV crew and the BMGs, and then we were joined by about a dozen students of a specialty "talent" school where they are studying comedy, TV announcement and radio DJing. in nara, i was with them in the background helping to keep the deer in the picture by feeding them and acting just like regular tourists.

in the next picture:

the director is on the right, and one of the BMGs (Yoshida) is in the middle with the black plaid shirt. the buhdda statue BMG (Kosugi) is in green here:

the camera guys kept feeding the deer all of the "deer wafers" they could eat to keep them in view. they were well fed on this day.

while shooting, invariably i discovered how REALLY famous these guys are. if ONE kid saw one of them, a huge cround would gather in the wings of the shoot:

and it wouldnt dissapate until the guys took an "autograph break". there were four or five breaks in the five hours of shooting in nara, and the kids were always jumping with joy.

since i have posted some pics on my japanese blog tons of people have left comments on it saying that they cant believe i got to meet these guys. apparently they are as famous as the Seinfeld troop would be in the US, or Mnoty Python in the UK and they have their own show as well as a lot of guest appearances on other variety shows...

overall it was a fun day and i hope to be able to get a recording of the commercial up on youtube soon. i saw a couple of my old students and told them that i was gonna be in this commercial and they were freaking out too. here is another pic of some random kids waiting for autographs:

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - if you like the little effects i have been putting on my pictures, you can get the same software i use to do it here: its called Picturesque

Fun with deer and TV commercials

2007-06-15T22:08:00.000+09:00

This is what a shoot looks like in the magical city of 奈良 (Nara) in Japan, where the deer (but not the antelope) play pickpocket and fertilize the ground that you just realized you stepped in. Had a great time recording the commercial today. Did it in two different locations, on a beach near the Osaka International Airport, and in the old, temple laden city of Nara. The Black Mayonaise guys were great. Really fun guys. I'll give a full report later, too damn tired now. Enjoy the picture!
Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - That guy painted green is supposed to be a Buhdda statue, and if you watched the video two entries ago he is the guy on the left.

Going to the beach...

2007-06-14T16:14:00.000+09:00

Just got a call from the guys I am seeing tomorrow at the TV station.
I'm meeting them at the station and then we are going to the beach to record a commercial....
So it isnt for a TV show persay, should be fun....

Black Mayonaise

2007-06-14T00:52:00.000+09:00

No, this isn't the name of some new (or should I say reallllllly old and ripe) Japanese delicacy that I find disgusting. This is the name of a Japanese 漫才 (Manzai - or comedy duo) team. I tried to find a video of theirs with English subtitles, but couldn't. These guys are pretty funny. This particular joke-discussion is based on te fact that the dude on the right is 32, and has a new girlfriend who is 18 (sound like anone you know? ) He is really stressing out and is trying to figure out what to TALK about with her or DO with her what wont make him seem old....

This information interests you the most because, well, its a long story.

I got an call the other day from the bass player in the band that I have now apparently inherited (see previous entry).
On Monday, I got a call from Kazu and he told me to send me a picture of myself. I had no idea what it was for so I sent him this picture...

I really didn't know what it was for, so I thought it was maybe for the website which still has the old singer on there.
The next day, Kazumasa sent me an email with Japanese that was kinda broken, so it was a little hard to understand.
What I understood was:
"It hasn't fully been decided yet but, can you get up early Friday morning?"
" Oronamin Commercial"
" Black Mayonaise"
and "perform together"

I was like, huh? The band might perform with these guys? And he said, no, just YOU.

So, I will apparently meet and record something like a drink commercial with these guys for Japanese TV.
I think. Not really sure, but I'm gonna wear a band t-shirt just in case I can sneak in some kind of self promotion...

The biggest problem is, it will take me an hour (plus some) to get to the TV station, and I gotta be there at EIGHT IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!!! Lately I have been going to sleep at five AM, and it's almost two AM now so I guess I better start getting my sleep schedule adjusted...

I'll keep you informed,
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

PS - If you want a sneak preview of the new site I am building, click here. the oceanboom.com 2.0 will have a new blog engine and photo gallery display so it will be faster to post articles and it will look better. OH, and my friend NAO (from Dever/Tokyo, see the previous previous entry) built me a nice flash player so you can hear music from some Japanese bands.

Late video posting

2007-05-17T01:37:00.000+09:00

For those of you that still havent seen it....
This is a video of me singing.....On May 3rd...in Osaka

I'm filling in for some friends of mine. The singer songwriter "Pete" from the Osaka band *fna* is in the USA right now and Im helping their band out by singing for them so they dont have to cancel gigs. The rest of the band is Japanese, and yes, the drummer is a hot chick. I included a little Japanese banter with the crowd including me telling them that the band has T-shirts, CDs and two kinds of underwear for sale (new and used)...

I like these songs, but they aren't mine... Hear the real singer at http://fnarock.com

The first song we did is called "Brigette" ( a tribute to Brigette Bardot - Google her) and the next song is called "Lights Out" ...

I interviewed these guys when I the original singer was still here, and you can hear the interview at my music site:
http://oceanboom.com
Look in the podcsat section and *fna* is the fourth, most recent podcast.....

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

Degrees of Separation

2007-04-28T04:25:00.000+09:00

Much has been said of the Six degrees of separation, and here is another story that makes the world seem very small.

Short story: i met two people in different states of the USA (about 900 miles apart) that DON'T know each other, and their FATHERS are good friends and live about a five minutes walk from each other.

Long story:

Springfield, Missouri: 1997
while standing in line at the school cafeteria of what is now called Missouri State University (when i went there it was called Southwest Missouri State University), i heard two pretty Japanese girls speaking to each other in Japanese. i stated talking to them, trying out the japanese i had studied in high school. one of them, Emiko Aoyagi, became a good friend, Japanese teacher and roommate. We had a lot of fun and helped each other a lot until she went back to japan in 1999. I visited her family for the first time in December of 2001, staying for about three weeks at her parents house in Kanazawa-Bunko (bout 30 minutes outside of Tokyo). She had a beautiful baby about three years ago with a nice guy from India named Sureeni and spends most of her time raising him now.

Emiko and her Family:

The Aoyagi's, Emiko's parents:

Denver, Colorado 2002 (ish)
i was looking for a roommate at the same time as my friend Ruben, and he randomly met a Frenchman named Antwan. Antwan randomly made some other french friends at a grocery store or something, and one of the beautiful French gals had a Japanese boyfriend named Nao Ishibashi. Nao lived in the USA a total of about 15 years until he moved back to Japan last year. He is now in Tokyo, living with his parents in Kanazawa-Bunko.
Nao and his dad:

Tokyo, Japan 2007
When I went to the Iron Penis Festival earlier this month (sorry no penis blog yet) I stayed at Nao's house and met his parents. While Nao's father was giving us a tour of the area, I offhandedly asked him if he had any friends named Aoyagi. He said that he did know one person named Aoyagi, and this Aoyagi's daughter had young half-Indian child. My other friends in the car were shocked because I had told them about my friend Emiko on the way to Tokyo. Later, Ishibashi senior drove us over to the Aoyagi's house and surprised them. Turns out that Mr. Aoyagi has been teaching Ishibashi how to make ramen for years.

Circles of connection can be really mind blowing and reinforce the "six degrees of separation" theories that abound in many cultures. It is a small world after all....
Strange huh? Just thought I would share...

Ta ta
Erich von meatleg

Crazy Politics

2007-04-15T15:10:00.000+09:00

No time for a real post now, so take a look at this latest you tube sensation. This is a REAL politician named Toyama Koichi that ran for the Prefectual governer of Tokyo "County". Every politician is given equal airtime in Japan to explain their platform, and the TV stations can not edit it and are therefore not responsible for its content. This guy is INSANE! I'm gonna memorize this whole speech for Japanese practice...

The best part is, over 15,000 people VOTED FOR HIM!!!
And they say there is no hope for politics...

Mine,
Erich von meatleg

Iron Penis Fesitval Pics!

2007-04-05T12:11:00.000+09:00

Posted some pictures here on Flickr!
Enjoy!

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

Iron Penis Fesitval

2007-04-02T14:56:00.000+09:00

My trip to the Iron Penis Festival was fairly successful. I sold about $600 worth of peni and peni postcards, I even sold the peni FLUTE that I made (and we think the buyer was a flamer, so I really hope I filed all of the sharp edgeses smooth enough for him...). Here is a video that I took of the festival CLIMAX, of the three main floats/portable shrines coming back into the main courtyard.

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - the full Penis-bloG should be up by the end of the month...

My next adventure!

2007-03-12T02:49:00.000+09:00

Last year, as you know, I managed to make a violin out of steel here in Japan. It was really quite difficult and you can see all of the hard work and effort I put forth in my Violin-Blog.

This year, I will attempt to make something else out of steel....I will make penises. I will make penises to wear, blow on, sit on and ring like a bell. All out of steel. I will be making an official Penis-bloG, much like I did the Violin-Blog so you will all be able to chart my progress during the LONG, HARD journey I will take (puns intended).

Why will I be doing this you ask? For money.
Who will buy these things you ask? People that go to the 金まら祭り(Kana Mara Matsuri) or the Iron Penis Festival in Kawasaki, near Tokyo. Until I can ERECT my own blog (pun DEFINITELY intended), please read about this festival here, here and here, and take a gander at these videos from Youtube:

I love Japan.
More later.

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - on a non-phallic note, I have started a new blog, just for other Macintosh users so that we can keep track of all of the cool Mac software that we find...
Great Software for Mac OS X

World's bravest (dumbest) underdog...

2007-03-04T21:46:00.000+09:00

Not a position I ever want to find myself in.....
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Long time no blog...

2007-03-01T21:04:00.000+09:00

yeah, ive been busy. been teaching at a new school for the past month (finished with that as of tomorrow). and trying to study japanese and so on and so forth.

one of the weirdest things to come out of the japan for the past month and a half is this thing:

this is the 外人犯罪裏ファイル - Gaijin Hanzai Ura Fairu - in english, the "Secret Foreigner Crime Files" or something to that effect. this stupidass magazine is the most blatant, racist propaganda i have seen published in a country outside of wartime. now i specify wartime because when a country is at war, it must villify the enemy at all expense to make them less than human and easier to kill, and this is much easier to do when the enemy is a different race than your side is. one need only go back as far as WWII propaganda to see the best that humanity has to offer in that department. the links i have provided are just US-JAPANESE propanda, not the really hideos Nazi crap.

if wars bring out the best in human nature as far as racism goes, then the publisher of the Secret Foreigner Crime Files must have declared his own war on foreigners in japan. trying to put this in perspective for my friends and family in the US:

if the KKK published a magazine on race relations in america, who would read it? what kind of morons would drop a few bucks down for that kind of enlightenment? maybe an even more important question is, who in their right freakin mind would PUBLISH tripe from such an organization?!?

one has to ask such things in bewilderment when you actually see a magazine like the Secret Foreigner Crime Files, because that is the kind of garbage that the magazine is pushing. along with some purposely distorted statistics and comic sections that graphically illustrate japanese people as the victims of foreign crimes, the magazine displays otherwise innocent pictures of interracial couples kissing in public with things like this in japanese:

HEY, NIGGER, GET YOUR HAND OFF THAT J GIRL’S ASS!!”
(and yes, they did actually write the word "NIGGA-" in japanese)

“YOU BITCHES THINK FOREIGNERS ARE THAT GREAT?!!”
“HEY HEY HEY, NONE OF THAT TIT RUBBING ON THE STREET!!”,
“HEY HEY HEY, GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THAT GIRL’S PUSSY IN PUBLIC!”
“THIS IS JAPAN! GO BACK TO YOUR OWN FUCKING COUNTRY AND DO THAT!!"

and, my personal favorite that highlights the true insecurity of the writer of the magazine:
"WE KNOW JAPANESE GUYS ARE SMALL, BUT..."

pure lunacy. there was a threat of boycotts here started by us foreigners, it got bad press all over the world and we got this crap taken out of the convenience stores where it was being sold. it can still be found on Amazon unfortunately, and will probably continue to be sold now that it has become a collectors item. a milestone in racist history. for more on the contraversy, go to the website of Debito Arudou to get info in english and japanese.

i guess i would like to believe that a great majority of the worlds population is not a horde of xenophobic segreation loving racial purists, but seeing crap like this really makes me wonder. i guess every country has its idiots, and one idiot in this country managed to publish a magazine. at least know we know racists are not all so inbred that they cant read and write. that isnt much of a moral victory however...

ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Happy MLK Jr. Day

2007-01-15T22:08:00.000+09:00

first of all, thanks to all of my friends and family that tolerated/entertained me when i came to the USA. for those of you who didnt get to hang out with me, well, better luck next year...

one of my favorite parts of teaching my kids in middle school is the section about one of my favorite heroes, Martin Luther King Jr. its in the 8th graders text books, and i always bring in my ipod so that they can hear what his voice sounds like. i dont expect that they will understand the details of the speech like "interposition and nullification", but they can hear the phrase "I have a dream" and it makes for a bit of listening practice for them.

here are a couple of videos to celebrate MLK Jr. the first one is a video of his famous "I have a dream" speech. I love not only his message, but the sound and swell of his voice. his command of his vocal capabilities are what made him one of the finest speech givers in American history... anyone interested in hearing more of his voice, should look up the audio book called "a knock at midnight"-it is a collection of his recorded sermons that i really enjoyed listening to even though i would not consider myself very religious.

this next video is from an animated cartoon called "The Boondocks"; inspired by the black artist Aaron McGruder (important to note that he is black or this nex clip might be considered quite racist) who also created the comic strip of the same name. this episode is called "The Return of the King" and it fanatacizes that MLK Jr had not died when he was attacked, but he went into a coma that lasted over thirty years and woke up to be disgusted with what is now popular black culture in the USA. this is the last 6 minutes of the episode wherein King blasts all of those attending a party, which was supposed to be a gathering in King's honor. the creator of the boondocks seems to dislike popular black culture quite a bit, as is evidenced by his fantasy of what King's tirade would sound like.

enjoy...
peace...
more about japan later...

Erich von Meatleg

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2007-01-01T09:56:00.000+09:00

Every December in Japan, we put our 年賀状 (nen-ga-jo) postcards in the mail, and every January 1st, the post office delivers millions of them to the recipients. Last year was the "Year-of-the-Dog", following the "Year-of-the-Chicken" according to the Chinese Zodiac calendar, so I sent out this card. This year is the "Year-of-the-Boar" so I sent out this postcard to everyone:

The top part says "The year of the Dog is over, now it's the Year of the Boar."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS-Just watched the Broncos lose so my KC Chiefs are going to the playoffs!!! Sure, they won't make it past the second round, but I can't wait to see that game...

XXXmas

2006-12-20T05:47:00.000+09:00

No this post is not about porn, just thought I would have some fun missspeling things.
I celebrate this time of year each year the same way so I thought I would like to share.

First, right after thanksgiving I start listening to my favorite Christmas album:

Ren and Stimpy's Crock of Chistmas!!! A holiday tradition of mine since about 1997 or so.

Next, I trek home to see the family from across the globe. The trip from my apartment in Osaka to my mother's house in Oklahoma generally takes about 24 hours including the layover in Chicago, so everyone better damn well be happy to smell me when I get here.

Maybe most importantly, I educate my students in Japan about the holidays. I came to the US on Friday, the 15th of December but before I got on the plane that day, I taught three classes in the morning. As part of our holiday lessons I taught them some Xmas songs (unfortunately nothing from the Ren and Stimpy album, I thought "We wish you a Hairy Chest-Wig" and "Deck the Halls with Stinky Daipers" might be a little beyond their vocab) and we had a holiday drawing contest. There were six classes that participated in the drawing contest, so for each class we had one of three themes: Santa, Snowmen and Reindeer.

Then we hung up the drawings next to mine and voted on whose drawings were the best. The teacher here is wearing what I like to call a "face diaper" because she has a cold.

I like my Santas, but I think I lost every vote.

The kids asked if my Santas would LEAVE presents or TAKE them.

My snowmen were pretty cool too:

I imagine that they would be made out of steel rather than snow...

Some of the children seemed a little scared of my reindeer, not sure why.

They look pretty real to me.

Anyway, thats all for now. Check back aroun New Year's to see the New Year's Day card I made to send out in Japan...
Here is a video montage of the cartoon Futurama set to a new classic Xmas song by Weird Al. I think this is where I got my evil robotic Santa inspirations from:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

If you can read this...

2006-12-15T13:15:00.000+09:00

I'm probably over the ocean in a ship made of steel.
See ya when I get there!
Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

My new favorite commercials...

2006-11-30T20:48:00.000+09:00

Yep, the same Mac ads that run in the US and other English speaking countries run in Japan as well. These two guys are very vamous comedians, much more famous in Japan than their american counterparts are in the US. They are pretty much the same scripts as the english versions.

In this version, the PC likes Mac's name so well, he decides that he wants a nickname as well. "Mac" suggests that PC calls himself "Work".

This ad is about how PCs are so seceptable to viruses, whereas Macs are basically immune...

This one is about all of the great features that come in a Mac, whereas the PC comes with a "Calculator" (KEI-SAN-KI) and a "Clock"(TO-KEI)...

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

七面鳥！

2006-11-28T00:20:00.000+09:00

七面鳥 (shee-chee-mehn-chowe) is Japanese for turkey. Translated literally the three chinese characters mean SEVEN-SURFACE (as in a flat surface)-BIRD. Not sure why the bird is called what it is called in Japanese, if anyone knows please tell me...

Turkey is so rare in Japan, that when I talk about it to ANYONE here they ask all of the most basic questions:
How big are they? What do they taste like? Is the meat oily? Does it taste like chicken? How many could I fit in my anus?

I rarely meet any Japanese person that has ever eaten any and I have never, EVER seen turkey at a grocery store. NOT once. there is only one restaraunt here that has any turkey, and that is SUBWAY, the American chain restaraunt (and just to make sure you remember that you are in Japan when you eat there, they dont give you free refills. Bastards. There is even a big sign above the drink machine that says NO REFILLS in huge letters IN ENGLISH, so I can't pretend to not understand). I eat turkey every time I go to Subway, but I thought that I was going to be SOT for Thanks giving dinner again this year in Japan (that's Shit Outta Turkey, by the way).

Then I did a Google search for "Osaka Thanksgiving Dinner" (Google could find food in a desert) and I found Tin's Hall!!! I had a great dinner with my friend Bernie from South Africa, and my friend Hiroko from Osaka. I was stuffed by turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce a roll, a huge glass of milk and a two pound piece of pumpkin pie!!! This place was so crowded on Thanksgiving, that I couldn't get a seat, so I came back the next night for the leftovers. I ate so much I had to drop some stepchildren off at the cess pool before I could walk back to the train station. I'll be here next year for sure....

Ta ta...
Erich von Meatleg

Flights Home!

2006-11-27T23:43:00.000+09:00

Okay, so here is the info you have all been waiting for...... my flight itinerary!
COMING TO TULSA:
Fri, Dec 15: UNITED AIRLINES, UA 0878
OSAKA Departs 7:20PM - Arrives in CHICAGO 4:17PM (three hours and three minutes before I left Japan)
Fri, Dec 15: UNITED AIRLINES, UA 6865
CHICAGO Departs 7:50pm - Arrives TULSA, OK (TUL) 9:46pm

LEAVING TULSA, GOING TO DENVER:
Fri, Dec 29: UNITED AIRLINES, UA 0261
TULSA, OK (TUL) Departs: 3:25pm - DENVER, CO (DEN) Arrives: 4:07pm

LEAVING DENVER, BACK TO JAPAN:
Fri, Jan 5: UNITED AIRLINES, UA 0875
From: DENVER, CO (DEN) Departs: 8:27am - SEATTLE TACOMA, WA (SEA) Arrives: 10:19am
Fri, Jan 5-Sat, Jan 6: UNITED AIRLINES, UA 0875
SEATTLE TACOMA, WA (SEA) Departs:12:21pm Fri, Jan 5 - TOKYO NARITA, JAPAN (NRT) Arrives: 3:55pm Sat, Jan 6

Make your reservations soon! Or you'll be in the back of the line behind all of my fans.
Ta ta!

Erich von Meatleg

Podcast Update!!!

2006-11-06T17:49:00.000+09:00

You can now access my podcast through iTunes!!

If you have iTunes on your computer, click here and iTunes will open and you will see it in the iTunes Store!

If you don't have iTunes, its free so go here to get it...

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Culture Day

2006-11-03T02:04:00.000+09:00

Today is Culture day in Japan, and here is a bit of information on the subject.

Recently, I taught my halloween lesson at school, and we did a full multimedia extravaganza. We set up a computer witha projector, and I showed them pictures of the last halloween party I was at, in Denver (click on the 23rd Ave link), pictures of pumkin carving:

(Yes thats me on the right, my bro on the left).
I also showed a few clips from youtube to show people some halloween spirit pranks:

This one takes place in Brazil, and the skelton on the bike is saying, "Hey. Hey you over there, let me give u a ride to hell", "do u want a ride to hell?"

This is great. I'm glad I'm not the scarecrow here:

Thats all for now...
Hope you all had a Happy Halloween!

Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg

Quick Note

2006-10-29T05:07:00.001+09:00

very short note, maybe a sixteenth. maybe even a 32nd note.

i added the completed pics and a small video in the violin blog, so have a look. i took like 500 pictures after i was done with everything, and i put the best 33 pics online.

ta ta
erich von meatleg

Podcasting!

2006-10-25T06:34:00.000+09:00

So finally I have the podcasting thing sorted out. So, CLICK HERE to see the webpage I created to upload my radio shows, or "podcasts". When you see the page, you will see a purple button at the upper left that says "suscribe" if you hit the subscribe button, it will open iTunes (if you have iTunes on your computer, and you SHOULD cause it is free...) and register the feed in the "podcasts" section of your iTunes directory. I am posting a second one soon. Enjoy...
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg
PS - There is a mention during the show of a merchandise section, but I dont have the section up yet. It's coming soon...

ハッピーハローウィン

2006-10-14T03:03:00.000+09:00

There is an incredible "Cute Crap" factor to every bit of life in Japan. Cute blob-like animals are all over ever product that doesnt have a recognizeable, animation based character and that makes it even harder for the recognizeable characters to stay cute. Now that it is time for Halloween stuff to be sold here in Japan (not like anyone even knows what it is save for us foreigners), all of the famous animals have to get dressed up, and it can get pretty scary...

See what I mean? I am gearing up for another cool Halloween lesson at school, complete with family pictures, pictures of Halloween parties and internet Halloween gag sites to be browsed in the classroom.
Can't wait...

Here is a link to the Myspace account of Lyris Hung, the Heavy Metal Violinist that bought my heavy, metal violin.
Seems like she likes it ok and it isnt breaking her arm. Yet.

Finally, here is a random night shot of downtown Osaka taken with my phone...

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - Oh yeah, almost forgot... the Japanese at the title is just the Katakana pronunciation of "Happi- Haro-uin!" (Happy Halloween)

Busybusybusy

2006-10-10T23:59:00.000+09:00

No time for a real post.... but here is what I want for Winter Solstice.
The ultimate FEMALE REMOTE!!!!!

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

完成！！！！

2006-09-27T20:20:00.000+09:00

完成 (kan-sei) is Japanese for "completion". I have wanted to use that word for the past six months, but I couldn’t until now.

The Hung Mallion violin is finally finished and shipped. I will be posting pictures soon in the Violin-bloG section. I just mailed it off yesterday and it is en route to New York. It only took about five months longer than I thought, but it is finally on its way. Just in time too, because I start work next week teaching my kids again.

In other news a friend of mine in Tokyo has started a blog as well. His name is Greg and his blog is www.jetrockjapan.com. I will put a permanent link in the links page on the left.

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Two crazy videos

2006-09-08T22:00:00.000+09:00

These two videos are insane for different reasons.

First, a Japanese invention. Who in the hell had the time and money to make this thing I will never find out, but someone has way too much time on his hands (said the person who makes violins out of steel...).

The next one is insane because it is so sad. I think the machine from the first video should be relocated to the area of the second video and be used to fix some problems, like by opening up the goddamn housing units for these people...

Tell me if you think I am right...

Ta ta,

Erich von Meatleg

Politicians

2006-09-05T17:51:00.000+09:00

It is voting time in Japan again. And those loud ass Sendenshas that I wrote about last year are back again. Hopefully this doesn't happen every year. Surely it is only because I moved to a new city that I have to endure one painful week a year of being WOKEN UP to travelling LOUD speakers.

This year, I managed to snag some proof. I shot this earsplitting video with my phone from my fifth story balcony.

The worst part about this car, is that it is representing my next door neighbor. Thats right, the person that lives one door down from me on the same floor. Her name is Horikawa Shizuko, and she is a sweet lady that attends my English Conversation classes in Matubara whenever she can. Ironically, her first name, Shizuko, means "quiet child". How her 'Commercial Cars' got to be the LOUDEST in the city is beyond me, but it is nothing like her normal personality. And her cars must have driven by our apartment building like ten times a day the past week; as if every person in the building wasn't already voting for her!!!

It seems to be over for this year at least. I saw her in the hallway and she told me that they are counting the votes. Let's just hope there are no hanging chads or there may have to be some kind of damn runoff election, and I may have to break out my slingshot...

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Silent Library

2006-08-24T21:30:00.000+09:00

This is a great example of Japanese humor. This sketch or skit, called "Silent Library", is an all star cast of Japanese comedians. The guy on the left in the middle (crew cut) is called Ma-chan. He is one of the two most famous comedians in Japan. The other most famous comedian is on the right, closest to the camera, Hama-chan. They are like the "Abbot and Costello" of Japan, and often lead a TV show called "Downtown" (of which this skit is embedded within), which is Japan's equivalent to Monty Python's Flying Circus television series.

The first one of the stunts in this show is poorly translated. In Japanese it says, "Nose Hair Plucking" but in English it says "Outwitted" ?!?!? Go figure where they got that from... Anyway, you can search you tube for the silent library to get more of these shows. I love it!

Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg

PS- If you like that, here is another link to another version of the show, and here is another.

Busy busy busy

2006-08-06T18:04:00.000+09:00

No time for a real entry, but here is a funny Japanese comercial... Japanese commercials are the best part about Japanese TV...

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Try again...

2006-08-03T21:43:00.000+09:00

Many people are having trouble hearing the radio show music file that I made. My last post was a little too poorly written it seems.

RIGHT CLICK ON ONE OF THESE LINKS AND DOWNLOAD ONE OF THE SOUND FILES:
Oceanboom Podcast Episode 1 (M4A-ZIP FILE)
Oceanboom Podcast Episode 1 (M4A)
Oceanboom Podcast Episode 1 (MP3)

Each link is the same file, but each file is a different file type. One of them should work on your computer (yes, this means YOU!).

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Oceanboom Update

2006-07-30T22:13:00.000+09:00

For those who don't know what a PODCAST or PODCASTING is, please click here to get up to date.

Now that you know the history, I will let you know that I am going to be making my own downloadable news show (or PODcast) that you can listen to on your computer or digital player such as an iPod. I just finished making my first podcast this morning at about 5am, and I have uploaded for you to try out. It is going to be a news program for my music website, Oceanboom.com, but it is not listed on the Oceanboom site yet SO DON'T TRY TO LOOK FOR IT THERE. It is only available thru the links below and I want my friends and family to try it out before I tell the world it is ready.

Click on one of the three versions below. The first two are in .m4a audio file in zip format. If you download it and watch it with iTunes you will be able to see pictures in the itunes display window as you listen to it (if you listen to it on a video or picture ipod you should see the images change as you watch/listen on your ipod)... The first one is a compress file, try that first. The second version doesn't download properly for Macs, but it is an unzipped version that downlods for Windoze. The third version is just an mp3 file, so if you watch it in iTunes you can only see one picture for the duration of the show, and its the logo I made specifically for the podcast.

RIGHT CLICK AND DOWNLOAD ONE OF THESE LINKS:
Oceanboom Podcast Episode 1 (M4A-ZIP FILE)
Oceanboom Podcast Episode 1 (M4A)
Oceanboom Podcast Episode 1 (MP3)

This is not published yet on the site yet, but it and others will be, I hope, by the end of August. Before I publish them, give me as much feedback as possible. I need to hear as much as possible, like does the volume change too much, is the interview hard to follow, is the background music too low or too loud, etc, etc, etc...

Be forewarned when listening, this is a 19 minute story about a Japanese punk band and their music, and Japanese punk bands love English's "F" word, (that doesn't mean Fleischbein, farting or filanthropy).

Note: There is no merchandise section on the site yet, and we are not selling CDs on the site yet, so don't be confused when you hear that in the podcast. I am updating the site to include these features but I had to make the podcast first because I was in Wakayama near my friend's band, and I had to interview them when I had the chance.

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - You can't really tell, but I sing chorus/backup on two songs, "Let's drink together" and "California"... bit o' trivia for you to think about as you listen...

Game Centers in Japan

2006-07-26T23:47:00.000+09:00

I went to a game center with some friends in Japan, namely Misato, Seiya and Remi (the girl wearing the silly Engrish shirt from the last entry) and we stayed just about all day. It was hot as hell outside, and the temperature inside depended on the floor you were one. The top floor was the hottest, which was fitting because that was where the most physical activity took place.

Each floor had a specialty, and the top floor had a batting range, a tennis court, a basketball court, a mini soccer field and a small archery range. The pictures are all loaded onto Flickr and you can see them here. Other floors had bowling, rollerskating, mini bikes to ride in the roller skating rink (but not at the same time as people were roller skating) a ton of video games, a second floor for games that is only made up of pachinko games, a planetarium, a fleet of massage chairs (the best game ever) and even a mechanical bull (that Misato is riding in the small video below). You dont have to put money into the video games after you pay the cover charge to get in, and you can limit your ticket to just two or three floors.

From Nintendo to Playstation, nobody takes gaming as seriously as the Japanese, and these pictures provide a little proof.

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Summertime and Stupidity

2006-07-13T23:00:00.000+09:00

I hate summer in Japan. At least in the western part it is sweltering in humidity. Fortunately my area has tons of spiders (mostly hanging around over my front door) and a lot of bats (you can see them flying around everywhere) or it would also be thick with mosquitos. You sweat all day until you get back to your 18 degrees Celcius (64.4 degrees Fahrenheit) apartment, and you are frightfully glad that your airconditioner has a timer on it so your apartment is cool when you walk in after work.

I cant wait for winter.....

Now, some stupid Engrish sightings....

Stupid Engrish Entry # 1:

All this advertising, and the bitch wouldn't even kiss me. C'mon now, what's the point of such a shirt if you aren't going to be a slut?

Stupid Engrish Entry # 2:

Salon de Caligula? I am not sure if you are referring to this Caligula, or this one, but either way it doesn't sound like an attractive place to get your hair done... And yes, I am aware that "de" is not English... It is still a stupid name...

Stupid Engrish Entry # 3:

This isn't Engrish, it's Japanese but it is still stupid so I am including it in the foray. If directly translated, in Japanese this says "Caution to the right!". What it means is "Use caution when using this crosswalk and remember to look to the right because that is the direction the oncoming traffic is coming from you dipshit!" Honestly, I dont think I have ever seen a sign in the USA that said "LOOK TO YOUR LEFT!" in crossing the street. If you don't know what direction the traffic is coming from in the country you reside, I say you should just get hit and weed the stupidity out of the population. A reminder to children to look both ways before crossing the street might not be such a bad idea, but this is a bulletin for the stupid...

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

The Bush Pilot

2006-07-11T19:15:00.000+09:00

This is from Germany, not Japan, but I liked it anyway.

Net Neutrality!!!

2006-06-23T22:38:00.000+09:00

http://www.firedoglake.com/2006/06/22/net-neutrality-crunch-time/

Save the internet!

Let's Enjoy Mushroom Clouds!

2006-06-17T19:46:00.000+09:00

When I work with other teachers, I rarely stop and question what they are teaching. All of the English teachers in my school are great, but this lesson caught my eye and made me say “Huh?!?!”

“Let’s enjoy English!” right next to a big picture of a mushroom cloud. Strange? I thought so. But here in Japan, the A-bomb and its history is not something that they shy away from. They often use it for subject matter in English classes, as well as other subjects. Recently, my third year (eighth grade) students took a field trip to Hiroshima to learn about the catastrophe, and they even talked with survivors of the bomb.

I wanted to read something about the atomic attacks from a Japanese perspective (and improve my Japanese reading ability at the same time) so I borrowed a book that I found at my school. It is called はだしのげんはピカドンを忘れない (Hadashi no Gen wa Pikadon wo Wasurenai) or Barefoot Gen Will Not Forget the Atom Bomb.

It's a widely known book and all of my students are impressed that I am reading it. It is quite a grapic graphic novel (yes there are two “graphic”s there; one for “picture” and the other for “gruesome”). Some of the students shudder when they see it.

I tend to have a bit of a sick sense of humor, and I am kind of a jerk so I thought I was pretty funny when I drew this on the cover of my high school Japanese class folder:

And yes, at the top of the drawing it says, “Land of the Rising Sun”. Now that I have friends from Hiroshima and Nagasaki, it is still funny, but in a much quieter, shameful way. The illustrations in the book that I am reading are really quite similar in the quality of the detail, but they come from someone that actually saw what happened in Hiroshima that fateful day, and they spare no expense at detail:

When this book came out in the 70s it was very sensational because there weren't very many books that included such violent, and disturbing images.

Some of the students shudder when they see that I am reading it, and some of the female students have told me that they couldn't finish it.

It has been made into animated movies and is part of a much larger series of books, based upon the authors experience on the day of and after the bomb dropped on Hiroshima when he was six years old.

The full story is much better than just the images alone, and it draws some interesting parallels to the modern day USA. Gen’s father is very anti-war, and is very critical of Japan for going so far. He is furious over the attack on Pearl Harbor, the blind allegiance to the emperor and he tells his family that “Japan is definitely going to loose!” Gen’s father is a man of many hobbies and besides his job as a geta (wooden sandals) painter; he is also an actor in an acting guild. The interesting parallel is that the local police send officers to infiltrate the acting guild because the actors are hosting plays that are quite serious, dark and anti-establishment in nature (such as Gorky's "The Lower Depths"). Gen’s father and every one else in the acting guild are all arrested (and subsequently tortured) for being unpatriotic. The same kind of garbage happens today in the USA, and I guess we should just assume that it happens everywhere, anytime there is a war. Strange how somethings always repeat themselves…

The biggest irony in the story is that this family, that is very anti-imperialist, anti-war and is at odds with Japan's military conquest, suffers just as hard as everyone else in the city, civilian and military alike. Hopefully literature and art like this can help to prevent such a nasty end from happening ever again by reminding the world of its horrors.

The story is getting intense and I will let you know how it turns out. I'm just now to the part where a plane called the “Enola Gay” takes off…

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Still Important!

2006-06-16T22:57:00.000+09:00

SAVE THE INTERNET!!!

Slippers

2006-05-23T20:36:00.000+09:00

One of my favorite customs in Japan is wearing slippers. When going into anyone’s house you leave your 土足 (dosoku-“outside shoes” or literally “dirt feet/legs”) at the door, and put on some slippers. Many homes in Japan have a pair of slippers in the bathroom (so when you reaaaaaaalllly gotta pee, you CAN’T go; you gotta suck it in until you change your slippers). When you check into a hotel (business or love), there are presumably cleaned slippers waiting for you just inside your door. If you go into most Japanese style restaurants here, as opposed to the 50% of western style restaurants, you put your shoes in a little locker at the door and you put on some guest slippers. If you come to my house, you damn well better at LEAST take your shoes off, even if you don't want the slippers.

If you go inside a temple, of COURSE you have to switch into guest slippers. And the best part over all, when I go to work, yep, I stop at the doorway of my school, reach into my locker and put on my (own personal pair of) slippers.

When in public places, after you have lived in Japan for a while you never stop to think about how many old farts or young, unshowered teenagers have had their smelly, fuming feet in the slippers you are now wearing. After a while, when you go to your friends houses, you no longer think, "Well, I hope she is over her Athlete’s Foot". It just seems cleaner to change from your mud/dirt/dust filled outside shoes to something more comfortable, so you are happy to do so.

After you get accustomed to them though, slippers can do strange things to your mind via mental association. You start to feel a need for them. You start to feel naked without them. I also tried having a separate pair of slippers in the bathroom, but I realized it made me feel like my bathroom floor was crawling with disease. I was scared to touch it barefooted even though I clean it at least once a year. I had never felt that way before; I had never feared my bathroom no matter how bad it smelled. I did away with the RUBBER bathroom slippers (they were SPLASH proof mind you) realizing that it was causing my newfound bathroom anguish. I did however keep my other pair of territorially confined shoes, on the balcony. You must have a pair of slippers on your balcony to hang up your clothes. THAT concept is also a little strange if you think about it too. If the slippers stay outside on the balcony 100% of their life (as well they are supposed to), they are exactly as germ covered and smothered in bird/bat shit as the rest of the balcony. At least they keep your feet from being cold in the winter.

I am not alone in feeling trapped in my own house by my foot coverings. I had one roommate in Springfield, Missouri named Kuni that would switch slippers to go from the main part of the apartment down to the basement. I would expect that most of the rest of Japan feels the same way, which is why I was baffled last month when I went to visit my friend.

Of all the places I have been in Japan, the hotels, temples, restaurants, friends’ houses, even WORK, the only place I was not able to take of my shoes was at a hospital. One of my best friends had surgery on her knee as a result of a car wreck. I went to visit her in the hospital in Osaka, and was really confused when I walked in and found no place to take off my shoes. It felt really wrong to walk in, go straight to the elevator with my shoes still teeming with the outside world’s germs, and walk down the hall past the rooms of many sick people spreading bacteria and allergens with every step. Why is it that in the ONE place that is supposed to be the CLEANEST PLACE ON EARTH, isn’t as clean as possible in Japan? With the insistence on removing your shoes, even when I go to the GYM, it is amazing that the place where people are weakest and most susceptible to having their conditions deteriorate doesn't follow this basic etiquette. When I ask my Japanese friends about this, most of them just shrug in amazement after they realize how strange it is. One friend tried to suggest that some floors are just so clean that they don't get dirty. Perhaps there are magic hospital flooring materials that prevent the floors from ever being hospitable to any germs that want to move in. I'm not sure but I have a plan to fix it.

The next time I have to visit a friend in the hospital, I am taking a huge bottle of water with me. If it isn’t raining, I will use the water I brought along to create a very thick mud puddle, dance in it for about ten minutes and then stroll in with a swagger; resoiling the entire path from the front door to my friend’s room. After the doctors, nurses and janitors feel the horror and clean up after my brilliance, the first thing they will do is install a proper slipper exchange. I don't plan on doing this at every hospital in the country, but I'm sure that this oddity of Japan will correct itself after the news of my guerilla attack on its illogic spreads…like a plague.

Mine!
Erich von Meatleg

This is important!

2006-05-13T20:03:00.000+09:00

Weirdness sighting

2006-05-04T05:04:00.000+09:00

So I was walking to my friends house and I saw a band playing in a sublevel entrance to the train station. I snapped this picture with my phone:

Later, I noticed something small and pink in the corner of my camera and zoomed in to find this:

Bunnies need music too I guess...
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Quick Political Thought of the Day

2006-05-03T18:26:00.000+09:00

People that are offended at the American National Anthem is being sung in Spanish (this means you "W"), SHOULDN'T READ THE BIBLE IN ENGLISH. If immigrants don't have the right to interpret the USA's anthem through Spanish (not the language it was originally written in), then American Christians don't have the right to interpret the bible through English (not the language it was originally written in). Unless those racist monolinguists want to continue to be hypocritical, they had better

1) accept that there is nothing wrong with multiple language versions of the song (as is pointed out by my link below) or
2) start learning Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic to read the "WORD OF GOD"

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS - Brief History of the US National Anthem link

Costco

2006-04-23T00:49:00.000+09:00

So they have Costco in Japan. Its the real deal, same orange shelves; you have to have a membership card and everything. And yes, thats one of my punk friends with green hair. Really has a nice contrast with the orange of the store.

The only noticeable difference is when you get home. Costco is an American size company that sells American size merchandise (often referred to with its technical term "BULK"). When I got home, I had to adjust my Japanese size fridge (often referred to in other countries as a "mini-fridge") because none of my Costco girth would fit.

I have to make extra sure that the lids are on tight so I dont get dill-pickle-pace-picante-cranrasberry-jucie soup in the bottom of my fridge.

This amount of food, along with a gallon of Skippy peanut butter and four jars of Nutella, will keep my apartment tasting like home for at least another week.

Ta ta
Erich

I think I'm turning Japanese...

2006-04-08T02:56:00.000+09:00

One of my Japanese friends recently canceled his cell phone. I, as well of all of his other friends have been completely irritated by this, so much that he may get voted off the damn island. 『日本人失格それ！』(That is a disqualification for being Japanese!) I told him after I looked up his damn house phone number. I am really starting to worry about him, but I may need to worry about myself even more. I may be going the other way because I recently UPgraded to a fabulous cell phone so great I just had to brag about it. Click here to see the english site with more pictures than I am giving you below! It is beeaauuuutiful!
It has a nice camera, of course, but its not just that it has a nice camera, it has TWO lenses: one for taking pics of yourself and one for taking pics of other people.

It can open up and flip all around to that the screen is facing outwards. It plays music and of course it can take movies that can be stored on its 64 megabyte memory card (bigger cards are available), it also has BLUETOOTH and INFA-RED file transmission features, and besides that there are two other REALLY cool things about it.

Thats right, it has a MAP, as in satellite GPS. Cool huh.

Great for a map freak like me. May not be too dependable though, when I am at home (shown here on the map) the automatic locator is about 600 meters off. This has to do with your current satellite reception. If you can connect with three sats at once, it is supposed to be very accurate, so much that you can get VOICE directions (in Japanese) telling you to turn left or right en route to a destination.

The other super cool thing about it is the VIDEO CAMERA CALL capability. Its not as good as being on the internet with two Macintosh computers, but it is certaintly faster, simpler and more expensive. I took three pics of my phone during a call, and made them into an animation so you can see that it is moving (look at the call timer on the screen):

Cool huh. Say hello to Sayaka! When using this feature you switch it to the speakerphone or use the earpiece. When on a TV call, you are of course using the inside camera lens. You can usually see your own face at the bottom, but here you can see the corner of the camera (and the unused flash).

Thats all for now. From the land of cool Japanese Crap.

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Parole

2006-04-03T03:00:00.001+09:00

Thanks to everyone that helped me get out of jail last week. Hopefully I'll never have to go back there again.

In the meantime I have updated the music website. I wrote an article about my friends' band called Jump'N'Fall. Let me know what you think. The Oceanboom

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

bad week

2006-03-31T23:30:00.000+09:00

so i don thave a whole lot of time to write this, only an hour so excuse the spelling mistakes cause i dont have to have time to correctianything. i only get one hour to typse this so i will have to be thourough.

on tuesday i was coming home from the gym and i was riding my bike up a ramp near the freeway. the ramp is kind of a spiral ramp and there are signs on it that sayy WALK! DONT RIDE YOUR BIKE! but usually there arent anyone on the ramp so it doesnt matter. i was biking up the ramp and then thre was an old guy entering the ramp coming down as i was going up. i got on the left side, not wanting to get off my bike but i didnt wanna tget in his way. but as i was passing him he GRABED myarm and scard me. i couldnt hear him cause i had my ipod on and i instinctively swung my arm to knock his hand off me so i didnt fall over. when i did that he fell down and i was like OH SHIT so i stopped and tried to help him up but he was pissed. then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a badge. he was a cop., before i could say anything he grabbed my wallet and took out my ID card so i couldnt run cause he could find me. he made me come downtown with him and i couldnt even pick up my bike. its probly been stoeln by now cause that was on wednesdaty.

so its satruday morning after midnite now and im still in the stupid jail. these assholes dont give you a phone call, but they tell you you can use your cell phone. my phne is out of batteries though and they wont charge it for me. assholes. im not working now so my job isnt expecting me and cause i cant call anyone im still here and no one knows. they finally told me i could have one hour to send eoms emails so i guess that is the best. i guess i neede someone to call the american embassy in osaka so that maybe they can help get me a damn lawyer. i have made some friend here they like me cause i can sing japanese songs but the food is only rice and water so im really tired of it and i wanna fucking go home. if anyone can call the embassy and tell them, maybe they can help. maybe only an email to them is okay. here is the link to the emabssy website in english so the maybe it will be okay if you click here and email them...

times up.... back to dumb cage later
erich

Toy Story 3

2006-03-25T02:27:00.000+09:00

So my little friends here in Osaka, Seiya (age 21) and Misato (age 19) recently bought their first computer. With my advice, they made the wisest computer choice possible, and got an iMac from Apple. They recently hooked up their printer and have been printing up a storm.

They must have 50 pages of stuff on their walls, mostly of their favorite bands, but also included in the printing frenzy have been their favorite animated characters.

Now, they don't speak much English (but they are studying) so they didn't understand this picture when they found it, printed it out, or hung it over their toilet:

I laughed so hard I almost missed the toilet. They thought it was hilarious too, after I translated it (erotic vocabulary happens to be a specialty of mine so it wasn't a problem).
This is why it is good to study the raunchy stuff first!

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Baseball fever in Japan

2006-03-21T12:11:00.000+09:00

This happened somewhere in my huge city...

OSAKA (Reuters) - A Japanese teacher, gripped by the baseball fever that seized the nation during a game with bitter rival South Korea, was forced to apologize after watching the game in a classroom where students were taking a test.

Many avid fans in both countries tuned into last week's World Baseball Classic game, a cliffhanger that ended with a 2-1 victory for South Korea, their second win over Japan in the tournament.

But a 47-year-old primary school teacher in the western city of Osaka found himself in trouble after pupils complained that he watched the game, played Wednesday night in the United States but broadcast live from midday Thursday in Japan, while proctoring a test they were taking.

According to the Yomiuri Shimbun daily, the teacher watched the game on a classroom television for about five minutes during one of two class periods devoted to the exam, then watched the game with students during the lunch break in between.

During the second class period, as the game grew more heated, the teacher occasionally turned the television back on, prompting some students to shout "Hit the ball!" whenever Japan appeared about to score.

Other students, though, later complained that they were unable to concentrate.

"Some students were looking forward to watching the game, and I was also anxious about it," the teacher was quoted as saying.

"I was very thoughtless."

The school has said the exam results will not be included in the students' grades, the Yomiuri said.

Japan gained a measure of revenge Saturday, beating South Korea 6-0 to clinch a place in Monday's championship game against Cuba.

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

Hallmark holidays...

2006-03-16T01:23:00.000+09:00

So Valentine's day is February 14th, but what holiday is on March 14th? "White Day!"

No, it's not like Black History month in for the "White" minorities in Japan, it is the Yang of Valentine's Day. In Japan, on Feb. 14th, women give presents, usually chocolate, to men. On March 14th, if you got presents or candy from a girl (or twenty) and you like that girl(s), then you give her(them) a return gift(s) on March 14th.

Remembering everyone you recieved candy from can be a chore, epsecially if you are a popular (and handsome) teacher in a school filled with impressionable girls. My fellow teachers told me that it is actually illegal for a teacher to receive candy from students, but I was lucky. My contract ended on February 10th, so technically I wasn't a teacher on February 14th!!! I left an empty bag for candy on my desk, but alas, without my presense the kids forgot to leave anything in my bag. Oh well, saved me some money yesterday, and it maybe saved me a few ounces around my waist.

Now, before you click on this link, care to guess what "BLACK DAY" is?
(Hint: it is more practiced in Korea than in Japan, and it doesn't have anything to do with Afros or power outages!)

Ta ta,
Erich

And today's terror alert level is..

2006-03-12T00:14:00.000+09:00

OSCAR THE GROUCH!

Because Japan doesn't have a lot of enemies these days (as opposed to WWII and before)...
Ta ta...
Erich von Meatleg

When in Japan...

2006-03-09T12:13:00.000+09:00

DO AS THE NINJAS DO!

THAT'S RIGHT!!! NINJA SOCKS!!!
They have shoes like this as well. I'm gonna buy some when I find them.
Definitely can NOT let yourself loose one of these socks though; there is an established right and an established left because of the big-toe pattern.

Ta ta,
Erich von Meatleg

How to complicate your life...

2006-03-03T00:50:00.000+09:00

A few notes:
1) I put a link to my friend Sara’s recent pics from her week-long sight seeing sprint. It goes to a site called Flickr, a part of Yahoo! that does a good job hosting pics.
2) I also put a link to the “Vio-blog” so you can hit that link and see the work I am doing on the violin that I am making.
3) Making some panoramas now so check them later.

Now, the actual blog entry:
So, you say you want to complicate your life? Well, this is how you do it.

First of all, make sure that you have a lot of interests in life. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, unless your interests are unrelated and don't mix well within the timeframe of, let’s sayyyy, one lifetime. If you were interested in “eating beans” AND “passing gas”…well, those interests would mix rather (potently) well. If you were interested in “having power” AND “stealing money”… heyyyy, you are a politician just waiting to be arraigned. Another example of an easy match of interests!!! Nothing to it. For a complicated life however, you have to dig deeper to get a good clash of goals. Pair up stupid things like “speed walking in the mall” and “nudity”, or “cultivating penicillin under your fingernails” and “being a dentist”. Or you can go all out with your life plans like I have: and combine “violin making” with “blacksmithing”.

Having two very different ideas at the same time can be very misleading to a young mind. If two ideas pop into your head within a short timeframe one might just assume that one is supposed to combine those ideas, no matter how different they might be. Like finding a quarter on the ground in front of a gumball machine. I first had the idea to make functional instruments out of steel when I was teaching myself violin and studying under a blacksmith around the age of nineteen. Do I ever pay for it now. And how.

I spent seven years making and redesigning my instruments for myself (see the Senior Show pictures and the Gallery panoramic), and because of this investment, I feel that it is necessary to drag these monstrosities wherever I go; including across the biggest ocean in the world. The two violins I own are smaller than the cello and the bass, so they aren’t as imposing to move. I brought one of them with me on the plane (in a case shaped like a machinegun mind you). Moving the bass and the cello however were like moving a dead rhino up to the top floor of your apartment building when the elevator is out. There was a lot of resistance to moving that much mass, and that rhino started to stink after a while…

I left Denver, Colorado for Japan in October of 2004. My bass and cello were supposed to follow me the next month, but they didn't. They were encased in huge wooden crates and mummified indefinitely, sitting in the dusty metal shop because my old boss in Denver didn't have the money to send it. So I waited. And waited. And e-mailed my old boss. And waited. And I called and tried to leave messages on the answering machine that was too full to take any more threats. So I waited some more. I waited until I went back to Denver in DECEMBER of 2005. I then had to track down the grumpy old man (who still owes me $1,000) even though he only has one phone, his work phone, and was never at work when I need him to be there. I was beginning to plan on how I would break the window to get my stuff out of his building, when I finally tracked him down at home. I had to put my new address on the humungous crates and then pay half of the shipping costs (even though he owed me $1,200 at the time). That was about $210 for each of us. I returned to Japan and had to call the Old Boss several times to remind him to give his half of the money to the shipper via credit card and after several weeks, the instruments were finally shipped in LATE January of 2006.

That's when it got expensive. And irritating. I got a call/email/letter/all at the same time from Customs. Not “customs” as in traditions followed for no apparent reason, “Customs” as in pay us lots of money or you will never see your possessions again. They told me that it would be a few days to clear the inspections and they would send me a list of the charges. The email of charges that they sent was a blasphemy to common sense. I was shocked at what they wanted me to pay for such a small amount of ‘service’. This is what they wanted:

CUSTOMS CLEARANCE: ￥11800 ($101)
CUSTOMS INSPECTION: ￥10000 ($86)
TERMINAL CHARGE: ￥ 5000 ($43)
HANDLING FEE: ￥10500 ($90)
DELIVERY CHARGE: ￥26250 ($225)
Off-loading & disposal packaging material fee: ￥6300 ($54)
DUTY: Free (!?!?!)
IMPORT TAX: will advise you…

So, I emailed a response back to them. I had never realized it before, but it is extremely difficult to type efficiently when you can’t keep your middle from sticking straight out. I asked them to explain every single charge, why there were several double charges and if they thought the streets of Japan were paved with gold (why else would they want to charge so much for the 40km trip to my house form the airport?!?!?) ?!? The delivery fee was the most offensive charge so I broke it down like this for them, in Japanese:

From Colorado to Osaka Airport it cost me $419.76(￥48,304).
Distance:
From Aurora, Colorado to San Francisco it was:
970 Miles (1,561KM) (843 Nautical Miles)
From San Francisco to Osaka it was:
5374 Miles (8,648 KM) (4,670 Nautical Miles)
In Total, the distance was:
6,344 Miles (10,209 KM )(5,513 Nautical Miles)

So ONE Kilometer cost ￥4.73 (4.1 cents) (one Mile cost ￥7.57 or 6.5 cents) (I gave up on the Nautical Miles at this point)
BUT, from Osaka Airport is only about 38KM from my house, and you want to charge me ￥690.8 ($5.95) per KM? (or $9.57 per mile!?!?!)
Isn’t this a little expensive? Tell ya what-DON'T deliver my things. Leave them there, I will come pick them up after I pay the other excessive fees.

So I paid the other fees, and then I did want any car-less person in need does, I begged one of my friends for a ride. One of the English teachers at school, Mr. Yamamoto, is a fellow musician. So he had pity on me and took me to the airport in his family van. The crates BARELY squeezed in the back.

His seat was shoved forward as far as it would go so he was driving hunched over the steering wheel.

When we got home, the cello crate made it up the elevator right away, and took up space in my living room. The bass crate, weighing several hundred pounds, put up a battle.

I finally shoved it into the foyer area, and because it wouldn't fit on the elevator I took it apart on the first floor to the amusement of everyone that lived in the building.

The bass crate was completely apart that night and the bass was standing ready before the clock crowed 12AM.

Because all sculptors are packrats, I kept all the wood. Shoved it all in the closet for future projects.

Might make a futon. The cello crate took up a lot of room in the middle of my kitchen floor.

It wasn't opened until a few days later.

Now both of them tower over me as I sit on the floor, just waiting for the day they feel their first earthquake so they can pounce on me.

So, if you wanna complicate your life, in short be an artist. Make heavy, huge, sharp things with strings. Take them with you to other parts of the world in hopes of starting a rock band. And try to do it all with as little money as possible while people are clawing at your wallet. If you do this, you are guaranteed happiness and success (or at the very least, failure and squalor).

Mine!
Erich von Meatleg

名刺

2006-02-27T23:09:00.000+09:00

名刺(mey-shee) is Japanese for bitness card. They are an important part of Japanese culture, as you exchange them even if you think you will never see or do business the person that you have just met, ever again. I made this to help me get into some of the metal shops, maybe they will take me more seriously....
One the right (from the top to the bottom) it says "Blacksmith. Artist. Luthier."
Then it has my name and my cell phone number.

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

PS. should be making the new blog soon, we shall see. Also, the previous link to the photos taken with my friend Sara now have all seven loooooong days (haha) of her stay uploaded. Between two picture junkies we took over 1400 pictures in seven days, but edited the uploaded pics to about 1309.

Visitors...

2006-02-23T02:12:00.000+09:00

A friend from Colorado named Sara is here visiting. Click here to see the pictures that we have taken of our adventures...

Tata
Erich von Meatleg

New site...

2006-02-15T02:52:00.000+09:00

Click here to see what I may do for a new version of my blog. This MIGHT be easier than what I have been doing...

Vacation time

2006-02-09T23:55:00.000+09:00

So I'm off work again soon. As of tomorrow actually. But this time there is no paid leave. I'm off till at LEAST April, maybe May. So I have got to find some things to do. I will be making a website for my friend Louis Corporale, a fellow violin maker, lover of yellow people and a pervert (just like having an older brother!). His site is in, what we webdesigners call "severe dysfunctionality". I mean it's REALLY non-functional, like a cereamic flyswatter. That'll take up some time and earn some money. Also, I am still hoping to make a violin for a lady in NY, but I haven't heard from her in a while so maybe I scared her off. The hardest part of making a violin will be finding a studio. I've done it four times in America, but never in Japan. Not sure how I will convince anyone to let me use their shop other than by giving them money. Guess we shall see.

Also, I have had my "last class" with all of my classes this week. The 8th graders are all graduating and I will be going to their graduation. Because it is a special occasion, I will be wearing my special necktie that I wore to my own high school graduation, and my own college graduation. The kids love my tie, but since they are Japanese they are always trying to eat it.

The 8th grade teacher and I had a laugh because one of the students said something like, "Wow! Americans really always do have outlandish tastes don't they!" She then kindly explained, "No, no. Not ALL Americans, just Erich."

And yes, by the way, he is a Rainbow Trout thank you very much. And NO he probably WOULDN'T taste good with SOY SAUCE!!!!

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

カラオケ

2006-02-02T20:58:00.000+09:00

カラオケ=Ka-ra-ok-e, and it, being a Japanese invention, is bigger here than anywhere else in the world. It is SO big in my city in fact, that a curfew was placed on the kids:

Wed Feb 1, 5:45 AM ET
Late nights of warbling in karaoke bars are a thing of the past for teenagers in western Japan. Osaka prefecture Wednesday imposed a ban on youths under 16 going alone to any establishment with a karaoke machine after 7:00 pm in an effort to promote "sound nightlife for young people."

The region, which has Japan's most most bountiful entertainment after Tokyo, will fine karaoke operators 300,000 yen (2,560 dollars) if they violate the regulation.
"We had relied on operators' self-regulation but we decided to impose the ordinance in line with a change in times," said prefectural official Chiyuki Yamada. There is no punishment for teenagers if they stay out singing, Yamada said, adding that prefectural officials were visiting karaoke operators to inform them of the new rule. Teenagers aged under 16 are still allowed to sing their hearts out until 10 pm if they are with a parent. Other Japanese prefectures have imposed similar curfews but Osaka's is the toughest of its kind in Japan, Kyodo News said.

Karaoke, which means "empty orchestra," started with music-only tapes and a microphone sing-along machine produced by a record store owner in the 1960s. The concept was quickly taken up by bar owners and spread nationwide and abroad, becoming a 7.5 billion-dollar a year industry in Japan alone. Nowadays, many Japanese enjoy karaoke at so-called karaoke boxes where small groups of friends eat, drink and sing in soundproof private rooms.

More soon...
Ta ta
Erich

ただいま！

2006-01-07T22:36:00.000+09:00

ただいま！(ta-da-i-ma!) is Japanese for, "I'm home!". I am home safe in Japan now and I want to thank everyone, all of my friends and family, for giving me a great vacation. Even though I couldn't see everyone I wanted to see, I had a really wonderful time and look forward to posting some pictures soon.
Thank you all, and here is to a great new year!
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Happy New Year!

2006-01-04T18:21:00.000+09:00

For those who have not seen it, here is my 年賀状(nen-ga-jo) or "New Year's Day card" that I made in Japan. The top says "The year of the chicken is over, now it is the year of the dog." The left and right parts say "happy new year". The red characters say "meatleg" in two places. And yes I drew the old year being eaten by the new year.

Cute huh.

And then, we are meeting at
LE CENTRALE, the french restaraunt downtown at about 7pm. We will eat le food.
Come on down because I go back to Japan on Thursday morning! Early!

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Hello Denver!!! Happy Holidays from Casey!!!

2005-12-28T11:31:00.000+09:00

Whenever I go back to Tulsa, I always have to visit my friends, Kelly and Aaron, as well as their lovely quadruped named Casey. Casey, one of the world’s more confused females of any species, is always quick to spread the holiday cheer. With her crotch. As if she were male.

Indeed, no trip to Tulsa is complete without the leg love, and she gives a whole new meaning to the term “doggie style”. With the Tulsa “leg” of my trip winding down (pun intended), I am posting my Denver itinerary for all those interested in coming to worship me.

Any time you want to call me, I can be reached thru my Denver tour manager
Ruben Tapia (AKA=Pedro Bastardo, AAKA=Puto Uno) at
720-231-8211

Wednesday night, December 28th, 7:30pm (Denver time)
Arrival in Denver, picked up by the Puto Brothers.
Then about 8:30pm, we will eat at Benny’s restaurant:
CLICK HERE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS...
Come join us!!!

Thursday night, December 29th, 2005
Going to see King Dong during the day. Haven't decided on the time yet.
Then, around 9pm(ish) going dancing at La Rumba

Friday night, December 30th, 2005
16th street mall Cheesecake Factory on Friday. 8pm(ish)

Keep watching the blog for updates during the week, I leave on the 5th of January.
Also, click on the comment link below or email me your phone number if it has changed in the past year if you wanna hang out. Later all!

Erich von Meatleg

Stupid ENGRISH signs

2005-12-16T12:35:00.000+09:00

As some of you may know, Japan has a problem (a fetish really) with bad Engrish. The problem that they WANT to use it, but evidently there aren't enough foreigners around to help them write it properly because mistakes are EVERYWHERE.
For example, one day I was walking down the street near a train station in Shinjuku, and I saw a few cool little signs on the ground. They were bricks that pointed to different cities accross the globe such as Sydney, Paris, Moscow and one city I hadn't heard of before:

Hmmmmm.....Isn't that in Texlass (and isn't a river?)? At least they didn't have Rondon, Engrand.

Then, in a hotel I found this nice explanation on a bathtowel:

In case the picture is hard to read, it says:
"Everytime you make a move and the way you touch, I lose control and shiver deep inside. You take my breath away."
WHOA! CALM down there Mr. Bath Towel, I only like you as a FRIEND!!!

Then on the way home I found something EXTRAORDINARY:

That's light! Stand here for 8.88 seconds and you will magicarry be trasported to home!

Then there was this:

Perhaps this stupid looking alien thing is maybe some kind of outer space cat, but "Morlin and Satoshi" are apparently characters created by a strange artist named Dehara Yukinori.

Just fabulous. Maybe someday my current students will make me proud to be an Engrish teacher, just like these people do.

Mine,
Erich von Meatleg

TOKYO: Episode III

2005-12-16T12:18:00.000+09:00

The third day, October 21st, 2005, I went to visit another friend of mine, Greg, in Chiba (where “Tokyo” Disneyland is located). Greg met this crazy “cat” at the Tokyo Immigration office. Jimmy Angel is apparently a living legend that is living in Japan. He is a 50’s rocker, and a former high school classmate of Elvis Presley! One of the oddest things about him is that he can’t stop saying the word “cat”. Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat. Every time he is talking to anyone, he calls them “cat”. It’s really not very attractive. It’s such an old slang word cobwebs flew out of his mouth every time he says it.

He invited Greg to a show where he was performing, and I went along too. The show was in a small bar in Narita (near the Tokyo international airport) and it was, like him, a little odd. Jimmy’s performance was classic 50s style rock, with one exception. I don't play guitar, so I didn't notice it at first, but as he was singing his ass off and strumming his guitar to pieces, Greg leaned over to me. “Did you notice that his guitar isn’t plugged in?” he asked.

I wasn't looking at his fingers, but they weren’t actually holding down any strings. Then I looked and sure enough, his guitar wasn't connected to anything. It was convincing to a non-guitar player, but it was certainly strange once I realized it. I wasn't sure if he was just using it to dance, like playing air-guitar to with an actual guitar, or if he REALLY thought he was playing and no one in the band bothered to tell him that his guitar wasn't turned on. Makes me think that all of us musician types may finally go senile this way someday. Here is another link about him in The Japan Times. Pretty interesting, even if he is loosing his mind.

That concludes the weirdness of my trip to Tokyo.

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

TOKYO: Episode II

2005-12-16T09:32:00.000+09:00

Ok, bit of a writing hiatus, but here is the rest of the story.

My second day in Tokyo (back in October) was spent hanging out with a friend I met via the internet back in 2005, Louis Corporale. Louis is a violin maker from Nebraska. He has lived in Japan since graduating from violin making school, and he has been very successful at his craft. He has customers from all over the world, and more than one place of residence in Japan (very impressive). I took a picture of the view from his house, in the panoramic section. Louis also has a violin making school that I visited last year when I first arrived in Japan.

While visiting him at his hone in Hachioji, the western suburb of Tokyo, he showed me (and let me hold in my hands) an original Stradivarius violin.

We delievered it to a customer that was staying at one of Japan’s most expensive hotels, the Park Hyatt in Tokyo (look for tons of pictures on this site).

For Bill Murray fans, you might remember this hotel from the recent movie called “Lost in Translation”.

The hotel is amazing inside and out,

and all of the Japanese people working there had amazing English.

I am supposed to be redoing his website for some extra money, so hopefully it will be a profitable relationship for both of us.

On a related subject, I should be making another violin soon. A gorgeous violinist from New York named Lyris Hung is going to commission a custom made violin. I will begin work on it in February of next year. Its gonna be SWEET!

Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg

TOKYO: Episode I

2005-11-24T19:33:00.000+09:00

In October I took a trip to Tokyo and had a nice little adventure. Here it is broken in to three parts because it is a little long.
Episode I:

In august of 2003 I landed a job in Denver teaching English at an international language school. The first month I was there, thirty high school kids came to Denver from Hachioji (a western suburb of Tokyo) for a one-month study holiday. Pictures of them can be seen in the “Denver” section under the link “My Students” (or click here) I finally got the chance to see them again last month.

They had traveled to Denver with several teachers and a chaperone name Sayaka. I had kept in touch with Sayaka for the past few years and she called the students to arrange a meeting, and helped me find my way to the school.

It worked out really well. They are all going to college next year, and some of them decided that they wanted to study English as a result of their trip to Denver. One of them even decided to quit pursuing an art career in favor of language (wise career choice kiddo)!

While at the school we ate together and played games like hangman and some other stranger games like this picture where everyone sits in a circle and leans on their neighbors lap.

Then another person removes all the chairs.

The sitting group becomes a human table.

At least until you fall down. Don't try this at home if you have bad knees or concrete floors.

It was very rewarding to see all of these kids again; more than two years after I first met them. Some of the shy ones were much more talkative now, so that was good to see. I was a little embarrassed that I couldn't remember everyone’s names. I just told them, "I'm OLD! Please forgive me!" They didn’t buy that excuse though; I guess I should be lucky that they don’t consider me that old. My middle school kids in Osaka are calling me はげ (baldy).

More on the Tokyo trip tomorrow. Also, my Xmas list will be published soon so don’t spend all of your money.
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

記念日 !

2005-11-23T19:28:00.000+09:00

記念日 or "kinenbi", means anniversary! As of yesterday I have been here in Japan ONE YEAR! That's one full year without, any arrests, prison time or deportation! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Decorations! Ba-HUMBUG!

2005-11-15T23:38:00.000+09:00

Got your from Yule deco up yet?

It’s already up here in Japan, not sure if it is earlier than the states or not. I thought Xmas deco only went up in America after thanksgiving, but since they don't have the same thanksgiving holiday in Japan, there isn’t any buffer on when to start. So here is a sample load of holiday crap from Japan.
Not even the Colonel is exempt from Xmas cheer.

By far my favorite Xmas deco stays up YEAR ROUND in a trendy area of Osaka called アメリカ村(American-Village). It is a love hotel (a hotel that you can rent by the hour or the night with the express purpose being...a good lovin’) that is called:

That's right, Hotel Chapel Christmas. Just in case you need a little “hoe hoe hoe” in the summer time….

Look out! I'm coming up your chimney!

What do you want for Christmas? I want some good lovin!

No, I didn't go in (evidently, you can't rent a room unless you have a partner....not a lot of self-love in Japan it seems), and in case you were wondering its about a block away from my favorite bar. This may be my favorite part of Osaka by far.

Look for a few more pics on the links to the left!
See you all soon!
Bah Humbug!
Erich von Meatleg

PS-Happy 98th Birthday Oklahoma! The 46th US state (after we gave up on having it serve as the continental toilet for our ethnic cleansing) as of November 16th, 1907.

Quickie..

2005-11-15T00:42:00.000+09:00

Here is a quick link to let you all know what I think of you.
If, and only if, you guess what movie it is from you will get a present in December. Or a card. Whichever is cheaper for me.

Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg

Big Time Art Show in 2003

2005-11-03T04:08:00.000+09:00

For those who didn't have the chance to see me my senior show in 2003 (which is about thirty people less than the world population), I finally got around to posting the pictures. Scroll down to the bottom of the Denver links on the left, and click on the link that says Senior Exhibition and click. I also have the gallery put together as a panoramic, so check the panoramic page as well.

The paintings were done by another student named James Warner. His paintings and my sculpture worked well together with the ambient hum of my speaker that was hidden in the box under the Tommy Gun Violin case.

Here is the Artist’s Statement that I wrote and hung on the music stand. This is the kind of thing you have to write to get a BFA in sculpture.
Enjoy…

Instruments of Torture
One of the intentions of any inventor, albeit an artist, musician, architect, or scientist, is to validate one's existence on Earth by creating. Typically, inventors put most of their effort into one pathway (artists to art, musicians to music, architects to buildings and scientists to research), but there are an unfortunate few who only find satisfaction in multiple, simultaneous pathways of creation. We, the Artists Omnifarious, have no choice but to torture ourselves by chasing exponential multiplicity in whatever forms we can.

The Mallion Violin series is a conglomerate of three-dimensional and four-dimensional pathways. My musical instruments/art objects/axes are a combination of studies in music theory, several apprenticeships in blacksmithing, and the desire to personify an aggressive timbre physically. They are designed to satisfy an aesthetic, but, more importantly, they are designed to work as a prosthetic by which further compositions, musical compositions, can be created. This cycle of exponential creation, the creation of artwork that is in turn used to produce more creations, formulates the Mallion Violin series concurrently as artwork and as tools. The thick, bladed, steel plate from which their frames are manufactured extends the manifold usage of the overall design as well: it allows the instrument to be used not only as a tool of creation, but also as a tool of defense, destruction and torture (torture of weaker instruments, of simply manufactured items and of lesser art forms). Synergizing all of these elements into one giant compound is the only possible way to efficiently pursue various hypotheses that are otherwise unconnected.

A large body of inventions speaks more loudly about a person than an epitaph, and all inventors are defined by the pathways they take to create. I have committed myself to combining metal craft and musical performance into an effusive fusion of theatre and stage paraphernalia in order to validate myself, not only as an inventor, but also as an Artist, Omnifarious.

Mine!
Erich von Meatleg

ハッピーハロウィーン！

2005-10-31T21:41:00.000+09:00

Or, Happy Halloween!
So this year, I not only celebrated Samhain (pronounced Sow-in, the original name for Halloween) but I taught a class on it as well. I made a Jack-O-Lantern mask at school and then I taught all of the kids how to make them. For those who are not technologically advanced enough to have a cell phone that has email and can send and take pictures, here are the pictures that I took with my phone.

After each class, there were around 35 kids with little pumpkin masks on. I heard a few times that the teacher of the next class got a little irritated because the students didn't want to remove their masks. (Damn math teachers) Then we used a laptop computer and a projector to show them pictures of pumpkin carving, as seen here with this picture of my brother and I (me at about 16, my bro at about 11),

as well as some of the pictures of the Halloween parties from last year in the Denver links on the left.

Then we used said computer and projector to let them experience a little Halloween spirit by having a volunteer from
the class click through this site.

So, that’s it for Halloween, hope yours was fun.

Speaking of Tricks or Treats, I am not sure which label I should apply to my new favorite cookies. If you don’t think the name is funny , something is wrong with you, but it might help to think of it in this context:
1.“Hey, Ma! Haiv you seen muh Daiddy?”
“Yais, darlin’, hees ayoutside feeding d’asses.”
2.”John! Where have you been until 3am?!?”
“Sorry honey, but me and the boys were just at the strip club looking at d’asses.”
3. And whenever I find myself in need of a wafery, chocolatey snack, I reach for a big box of…

Ta ta...
Erich von Meatleg

Tulsa Time

2005-10-28T01:24:00.000+09:00

Sooooooo, I bought my tickets to the USA and back.
I'll arrive on December 14th at about 10pm in Tulsa.
I will then arrive in Denver on December 28th at about 7:30pm.
Then, I will return to Japan, on January 5th.

And to all of my friends that want to book time to hang out with me in December, don't forget, the last person hanging out with me has to take me to DIA for my 8:32am flight.

Updates on my recent crazy trip to Tokyo soon.

Ta ta
Erich

Time to visit Erich

2005-10-14T00:06:00.000+09:00

Anyone want to come visit me from Denver for less than $500?
http://www.tickettojapan.com/airfare.htm
It of course will be more expensive when you consider that I will charge your hundreds of dollars for rent, food and house cleaning fees (that is, the fee that I will expect you to pay in order for the privilege to clean my house).

Mine
Erich von Meatleg

Question for those in Denver

2005-10-11T23:16:00.000+09:00

If I swing by Denver for a few days in late December and early January whose house can I stay in?
Lemme know quick cause I am booking my flight this week. No response = no trip to Denver.
Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg
PS-I promise I won't pee on your kitchen floor...

The big move to Osaka

2005-10-03T17:15:00.000+09:00

So, this is the story of my 引っ越し(hikko-shi) or moving. Moving, like most everything else in Japan, is expensive. It requires a huge deposit; about 75% of the time this deposit is non-refundable, even though it may be about $3000 (that's not a typo!!!!). My current company isn’t the kind of company that helps you with finding a place to live when you are relocating for them (the employee centered kind of company). I, therefore, had to find my own place to live, all negotiations and consultation taking place in Japanese of course. My deposit (gift money, or “key money” as it is called here in English) was going to be the non-refundable $2,500 type, but because my sounding-sad-in-Japanese skills are getting better, I was able to whine it down to $1,500 (plus finders fee, plus two months rent).

So, then I had to leave my apartment in Tanabe abruptly. Not finishing the year contract means I had to pay for October as well, even though only my stench and stains remains there now. On top of the October ($430) rent, I had to pay the $230 cleaning fee that is standard throughout Japan. Now, there wasn't much I could do to fight back against any of these various moving-related fees, but I figure if I have to pay a cleaning fee I may as well make them work for it. What is the best way to punish someone for forcing you to cough up well over 200 bucks for cleaning you ask?

That's right. All I can say is that those cleaning people should be thankful I didn't have time to eat anything that morning.

With everything else adding up, I really couldn't afford to rent a truck, so, I begged my brother Dai to haul my crap to Osaka for me. He borrowed a company truck and helped me load all my stuff up on the morning of September 10th, my 21st birthday. First we came to a hardware store with a silly name (silly names are pretty much the norm for businesses here in Japan).

What next? King Toilet? Grandpa Shitter?
We came here to buy some more rope, cause I needed more to tie all my stuff down. When you look at this picture, keep in mind that I arrived in Japan just last November with only two suitcases and a violin.

AND, my bookshelves wouldn't fit in the truck, so I pawned them off on my neighbors!

On the way, not only did it cost money to gas up this gas thirsty monster (only about $4.24 a gallon), but it cost money to use the freeway, excuse me, I mean, expressway as well. And we ain't talking about $3.00 for a few hundred miles. We’re talking $30 dollars, one way.

I paid Dai for the gas and the highway fees for both ways, and I lent him my minidisk player for the way back cause the truck didn't have a radio of any kind.

After I moved in, I had to buy a ton of furniture: A fridge, a washer, a microwave, shelves, bookshelves and a rice cooker. I did find a used place just down my street for most of that to keep it around $500. Then I had to buy an AC/Heating unit for a little over $500. The design of the Japanese AC units is really different. It’s not just a window type unit that I could shove into a window (which wouldn't have helped anyway since I don't have windows aside from my balcony-sliding doors). I watched them install it and I’m realllly glad I didn't try to do it myself. There were all kinds of tubes and wires to cut and splice, something probly would have exploded when I tried to plug it in. Fortunately, the installation only cost $120, so I only felt half the urge to pee on anything.

So I guess the moral of the story is, not only is moving a pain in the ass in Japan, its HELLUH expensive compared to anything I have experienced in the US. I love my apartment, and my new furniture but damn. If you wanna know what the experience was like, swallow a wallet full of money, wait a few hours for the bills to dissolve, and then have a friend or doctor pull the empty wallet out through your back door. Not really fun. I updated my address in the address link, so make sure you click that cause donations are now being accepted.

I’ll be able to make some of it back from inside my house, cause my 60plus year old landlady and two of her friends want to study English for 惚け防止(boke-boshi), to “fight senility”. It’s cool, kinda like I adopted three grandmothers. The landlady was even talking about giving me a table to use (besides my kotatsu, or floor table with built in heater). I’ll also hang up some flyers for private lessons in two of the colleges that are in my local ton to try to make up for it, and pay for my ticket back home for Xmas. May have to become a famous musician/artist/TV personality as well to pay for everything else.

Look for pictures on the left and in the panoramics!!!
Right outside my front door is a golf driving range, so it's a strange view to see every morning, but it is actually starting to look fun. People are playing till 2am every night.

I have a convenience store just across the street, so I was debating on weather to buy a fridge or not, but I finally decided to get one.

I’m on the fifth floor (apartment 502, same number as my apartment in Denver that I lived in for three years) and on the first floor there is a (very expensive) hair salon and a karaoke bar. Also right outside, there is a little restaurant owned by the landlady, and I can get a great meal for about $6 when I’m too lazy to plug in the rice cooker.

Also, I live closer to work than I ever have before in my life. It's a four minute WALK under a highway bridge and I can see the school from my house.

When the kids ask where I live, I always tell them 沖縄(Okinawa!!!)!!! I don't want a bunch of middle school kids and their parents knocking on my door one evening asking me to come watch movies, go bowling play video games with them for free….
Heyyyy, on second thought…..

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Another quick update...

2005-09-29T19:54:00.000+09:00

Pictures coming soon!
I just updated my music website again, click on "The Oceanbun" link to the left in the "Japan Links" section. There are two articles about "Summer Sonic", a big music festival in Japan. I wrote the editorial about a band called "The Mad Capsule Markets". If you are a fan of my silly writing, you will like it, even if you arent familiar with the bands that I am trashing in the article.
Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg

PS-In the article, I use a pen name. If you want to know why I chose THAT particular name, post a comment to ask my mom. I'm sure she will be able to guess why.
PSPS- We had a big sports festival day today and I uploaded some pics to this address
http://homepage.mac.com/meatleg/Menu3.html
I didnt put it on my normal blog cause I'm telling the kids to go visit this site so they can download the pics!

Quick update

2005-09-26T00:13:00.000+09:00

Now, there is a new clock on the left side so you will always know what time it is in Japan!
pics coming soon.
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

New Movie!

2005-09-19T15:40:00.000+09:00

Some of you may have heard last year that I was playing a part in a movie by a talented friend of mine named Helen Chung. Well, the editing is finally done and the movie will be premiering in Denver at the MAYAN Theater
on 9/22/05 (Thursday) at 7:30 pm.
The name of the movie is "2-4-1"
For those of you in Denver, take a peek and enjoy. You will see it before ME!!!! As soon as I get a copy I will send a copy to my family. Here is the announcement, my face can be seen in the images four times (I'm wearing glasses, and one view is from the back):

Mine!
Erich von Meatleg

Address update

2005-09-16T00:13:00.000+09:00

Just updated the new home phone number and address on the "ADDRESS!!!" link to the left. More updates to come soon...
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Transitional headaches

2005-09-08T10:50:00.000+09:00

This might be my last blog for a few weeks. I have to move this weekend and I may not have internet for a while. All of my email addresses will stay the same, and my cell phone number will be the same. Everything else will change so whatever you do, DON'T mail anything to my address on the blog. I'm sure I'll have lots of bad stories to tell when I am done moving so it will be entertaining. Happy 21st birthday to me on the tenth (it won't be fun, that's for sure)!

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

More silly things about Japan...

2005-08-22T18:16:00.000+09:00

It’s been a while since I added up basic everyday observations, so here it goes. It is amazing how the boundaries of “common-sense” can vary from country to country:

Soap: Even in western style restaurants, it is very rare to find soap in the public bathrooms. It is as if the entire country has never heard of Hepatitis A-Z. It doesn't matter if you are in a public school, a private school, a movie theatre or a friend’s house; if you find soap, you are lucky! Of course, this means, that I try not to shake hands with any Japanese person. EVER. It's a good thing they always bow, or they wouldn’t get any greeting from me at all.

Dryers and Towels: IF you find soap, you will need an equal amount of divine intervention to find something to dry your hands with. There is either nothing in the bathroom at all (save for big puddles of water by the sink made by people shaking their hands dry) or there are some really nice (and highly uncommon) wind-tunnel machines to insert your hands into and blow your hands dry. It is extreeeeemly rare to find paper towels. Since we are on an island, I guess I can understand the need to save trees, but it would be nice to have a standard alternative to dry-hands-on-pants-method.

Automatic doors: There are two types of automatic doors in Japan: pointless and maddening. I long for automatic doors that open gracefully as you approach, allowing you to continue walking at an even pace through the doorway with ease. Automatic doors are not like that here.

1. The pointless type has “automatic door” printed on it, but it has a button on the front of the door. So you walk up to the door, STOP, PUSH a BUTTON marked open, and THEN the door slides open. Needles to say, it would be much faster to slide the door open manually than wait for the big sheets of glass to mechanically move themselves.

2. The maddening type has no buttons. It is fully automatic, but it has a much slower reaction time than western automatic doors. While western automatic doors allow you to breeze through the doorway unabated, Japanese automatic doors wait until your face is about six inches from the door to open. So the doorway encounter is something like this: walk up to the doors, STOP, WAIT FOR THE DOORS TO OPEN, and then walk through. This is a very small inconvenience, but it can be very aggravating if you are having a bad day already. I swear I’m going to have a fit one day and smash through a pair of doors like the Kool-Aid man on a mission to quench thirst.

In other news, I was just awarded a new job and I will be moving soon. Stay tuned for an update on my new address. I will start the new job in the huge city of Osaka on September 12th, two days after my 31st birthday.

Good luck to me, my life has again become a blur.

Ta ta.
Erich von Meatleg

PS-Small new photo gallery called Ya-ya-. There is a festival on the 8th of August called Ya-ya- (which means 8-8).

Pee Bagels

2005-08-18T20:03:00.000+09:00

Is it just me, or does this logo make this food seem really UNappealing?

This was for a bagel-sandwich shop. And no, there were no waffles to be found...
I'll have my ham and cheeze on pee and semen bread please!
Mmmmmmmmmm.....
Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

桜

2005-08-09T00:31:00.001+09:00

桜(sakura) is Japanese for cherry blossom or cherry tree. They bloom in early April and are very vivid for a few weeks, then they turn a normal, boring green like everything else. Not, that there is anything wrong with green; hell, I have green boogers. I just think it would be cool if the leaves would be able to photosynthesize with their pink color.

My friend Taka came to visit at that time, and my friend Dai and took us to a local mountain so we could see a whole forest of them. Nestled in the mountain was a really cool rope ride that Taka, Dai and I all had a ride one. So, it is only about four months late, but better late than never. I purposely saved the picture files rather large, so they can be used as desktop images. Also, there are two sakura panoramic pictures in the panoramic sections.

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Long time no write...

2005-08-08T13:17:00.000+09:00

I know I haven't updated my blog in a while. I have tons of stuff to put up but i haven't had the time lately. I have been working on the new site constantly, click on the button below to take a look:

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

Earthquakes...

2005-07-25T11:53:00.000+09:00

This didn't happen anywhere near me, but I have friends there that felt it.

Moderately Strong Earthquake Strikes Japan
Sat Jul 23, 4:31 AM ET

TOKYO - A moderate earthquake shook eastern Japan on Saturday afternoon, rattling buildings in the capital. There were no immediate reports of damage and no danger of tsunami waves from the 5.7 magnitude quake, the country's Meteorological Agency said.

The earthquake was centered about 55 miles underground in Chiba prefecture, just east of Tokyo, the agency said.

Japan sits at the juncture of four tectonic plates, or moving slabs of the earth's outer crust, and is one of the world's most quake-prone regions. A magnitude-5 quake can damage homes and other buildings if it is centered in a heavily populated area.

Frogs (not French)

2005-07-11T19:33:00.000+09:00

蛙(ka-e-ru) is Japanese for frog, and recently a few million of them moved right next door. A few months ago, a small field was tilled, filled with seeds and flooded outside my house.

Soon, well, almost immediately afterwards, the night became filled with the song of frog! I should understand the lyrics by now. I imagine they must be quite simple cause they are definitely repititious. I suspect that the night long chorus translated would be:

"BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! We gotta make BABIIIIEEEEESSSS! HEY YOU! LET'S MAKE SOME BABIES TO SWIM AROUND IN ALL THIS HUMAN FOOD!!! BABIES! BABIES! BABIES! "

It's a good thing I acutally like the noise because there's not much I can do about it. Even with all doors and windows and closed, I still hear them unless I have earplugs in or I have the AC blasting air full power. I am lucky the my mother has always been a fish (specifically Koi or 鯉) pond fanatic, because if I had not grown up with frogs singing me to sleep at night, I might not be able to sleep well now. At least they have eaten most of the mosquitos in the area, and after having French roomates and friends for a few years, I know how to cook one of them up should my fridge ever run out of sandwich material.
Mmmmmmm...

Ta ta
Erich von Meatleg

My new favorite BAR!!!

2005-07-05T00:19:00.000+09:00

I was walking down a busy street in Osaka yesterday when I happened to look up at this signboard:

I almost walked right past it, but a familiar pattern of roman letters caught my eye:

On closer inspection I found the name of my new favorite bar:

Had it only been open, my spiritual needs for the rest of the decade may have been filled... Guess I'll just have to go back later.
I LOVE JAPAN!
MINE,
Erich von Meatleg

Happy B-Day Mommy!

2005-07-02T02:06:00.000+09:00

It's my Mommy's birthday and I sent her this card:

Everyone comment below and tell her Happy 49th Birthday!
Ta ta!
Erich von Meatleg